Episode 64: Why Clear is Kind in Leadership
The Opposite of Kind is Unkind
We all want to be kind, right? Let’s get clear on one way to be just that!
Enjoy!
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(The notes below are only a brief summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
Back in Episodes 35 – 42 (yes, 7 whole episodes!) – I talked about the Brené Brown book, “Dare to Lead”. It is definitely one of my favorites and highly recommend for all leaders and teams! One of her quotes and concepts is this:
“Clear is Kind. Unclear is Unkind.”
That simple quote sits with me all of the time. As I work with leaders, teams and entrepreneurs – I see situations where this proves to be true – all of the time. And honestly - this is true throughout my career and other areas of life.
Let’s look at what “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” means:
Basically – it means sharing thoughts and information that goes beyond half-truths or half-the story or that is missing critical details is kind.
Choosing to withhold information, avoiding conversations or truths or omitting details (intentionally or unintentionally) is unkind. It usually isn’t helpful and actually can impact the person or the situation in ‘negative’ ways – which can be avoided.
There might be several reasons why you, or any leader, might go the path of being unclear. This probably isn’t necessarily intentional – and sometimes we think we are actually being unclear for GOOD reasons.
Here are some situations in leadership or work where a lack of clarity shows up (at least in my experience):
Sharing a vision
Setting employee expectations
Performance concerns
Determining how to work together as a team
Sharing concerns you have with the workplace, etc.
Why might someone not provide enough clarity? Here are some of the reasons. There are just some off the top of my head – I’m sure there are lots more!
“I don’t have time”.
‘I don’t want to be mean” or ‘I don’t want to hurt their feelings’ (trying to control how someone else feels).
‘They should know’ (making assumptions).
At the core - it may be a way of protection - as some of these situations can be uncomfortable for you.
Here are some examples of how ‘Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” might show up.
Setting Employee Expectations
Clear is Kind:
The employee knows what is expected.
The employee knows what success looks like.
The employee knows what to ask about.
The employee may be more productive and engaged.
Unclear is Unkind:
Creates confusion.
Sets employee up for potential failure.
Others might question or get frustrated.
May lead to performance concerns.
Have accountability conversations without the employee having known what was expected.
Employee Performance Concerns
Clear is Kind:
The employee knows specifically what to work on.
The employee can make informed decisions for themself.
The employee may feel respected.
The employee might trust YOU more.
Unclear is Unkind:
The employee may question themselves.
The employee may become disengaged.
The employee may feel undervalued / disrespected.
The employee doesn’t know what to do in order to be successful.
How to Work Together as a Team
Clear is Kind:
Leaves little room for question.
When it goes astray – there is someplace for the employee to reference agreements.
The team can hold each other accountable.
There may be more connection within the team.
This might reveal when people want to leave the organization (this could be a good thing).
Unclear is Unkind:
Lack of clarity can create dysfunction within the team.
Could create disconnection within the team.
A chance that the ‘wrong’ thing is being focused on by the team.
Sharing a Vision
Clear is Kind:
Provides direction to the organization, team, individual.
Creates connection between the work and the vision.
Increased engagement.
Unclear is Unkind:
Leaves too many open questions about work and direction.
Decreases engagement.
Can create frustration.
Here are a few things to think about when seeking to be clear:
Check your own thoughts – why are you not being clear?
Be specific – even with the details that you think don’t matter, or assume someone should know just because you do.
Be honest – even if it’s uncomfortable.
Make observations.
Check for understanding.
This concept is not only to be applied when interaction with others. Remember it for yourself too!
Think about clarity about your goals, about what you really want, about what gets in your way, about your values, strengths and blind spots.
Clear is Kind:
Honors your own desires.
Creates space to be your full self
Unclear is Unkind:
Creates confusion, doubt and spin.
Restricts you from going after your own goals.
Take-away:
Do an audit on yourself. Where you are not being clear? Why? Look at it through the lens of kind and the lens of unkind.
What do you think?
Where are you being unclear? What would change if you focused on “clear is kind”?
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